Warning: This article contains discussion of adult themes.
COMMENT: By Kerri Sackville
When I woke up this morning to an email in my inbox about a dating site for men with small penises, I went back to sleep.
I hoped when I woke up that it would all be a bad dream, but alas, it was not. It was still there when I looked again, it is live right now on the internet – and truly, I don’t want to date in this world anymore.
• Is online dating doing you more harm than good?
• Psychologist reveals expert hacks for finding love on dating apps
• Sex columnist’s online dating app experiment has surprising result
• Facebook launches online dating service in US
Dinky One is its name, and it is billed as a “dating app for men with a small penis”. I mean, I despair. If that is the best that the PR company can do, then I also don’t want to read ads in this world anymore either.
I can think of about a hundred good slogans off the top of my head: For Men with Small D**k Energy, The Inch-High Club, The Teeny Weenie Peenie Scene, Come Draw the Short Straw, or … OK, I’ll shut up now.
Still, Dinky One might have a terrible name, but at least it has a ridiculous premise. Yes, Dinky One is a site for “smaller endowed men and partners who prefer it that way”.
At the time of the launch, the site had, apparently, more than 27,000 members, though statistics on their penis size are not currently available.
Now, I can sort of understand why a man would sign up to a small penis dating site. If he had, for example, signed up to ashley madison (the affair website) and narrowly missed the data breach that leaked names and IPL addresses to the media, he could perhaps be hoping for another chance at devastating public humiliation. (I have researched kinks, and being publicly humiliated for having a small penis is quite surprisingly popular.)
Other than that? Well, according to founder David Minn, Dinky One lets men date safely in the knowledge that future partners already know they are getting a man with a small member.
Now, I get that men are obsessed with their penis size, and that men fret that they are too small for sex. We women understand unrealistic body standards, and we sympathise with the anxieties men feel.
So here’s a fun fact. Most women don’t like men because of their penis size; they like the penises that are attached to men they like. This is why – brace yourself – women don’t like unsolicited d**k pics!
The d**k itself tends to be less relevant than the man whose groin it inhabits. We can generally make do with whatever turns up in the pants, but we do not use what’s in the pants as a screening tool for love.
Simply put, most women searching for a relationship won’t use a small penis site any more than they would use a large forearm site or a huge nipple site or a tiny earlobe site. It’s just not that important in the scheme of things.
Sadly, I suspect these ladies won’t be trawling Dinky One for candidates. There’s nothing wrong with a tiny penis, but for casual sex purposes, the ideal size is rarely “extra small”.
Still, Dinky One is open to people of all sexualities, and it’s possible that some gay men prefer small penises. I ran this past my gay friend, who said, “No we don’t,” and also, ‘That’s not true,’ but it’s possible he’s totally mistaken.
Happily, Dinky One offers a comprehensive answer to the vexing question of: Who wants a small d**k?
There are many reasons why some people prefer a smaller penis, it states, before going on to offer many (OK, two) reasons. Some women, it claims, “just preferrer (sic) a smaller penis for comfort reasons”. Also, it claims, smaller men may be better at oral sex.
That seems to be legit, but whether it’s legit enough to warrant a specific “small penis/great oral” website is rather a different question.
As for gay men, well, according to Dinky One, the majority of forum threads suggest most gay men preferrer (sic) a larger penis but there are some who don’t. This penetrating bit of research tells me very little indeed, except that my gay friend seems to have been visiting the forums.
Look, Dinky One is out in the world, so if you’re into a tasting platter, rather than a big meal, then it’s time to step up and take a bite.
As for me, I’ll continue to screen for weird things, like personality, smile and intelligence. And if there’s a penis to be found in there somewhere, well, that will be a bonus.