He Said, She Said: All the Reasons Every Bachelor Nation Couple Gave For Their Breakups

Here’s the reason every Bachelor Nation couple gave for why their romances didn’t work. And as you will see, sometimes each person’s version of events didn’t exactly line up…

The Bachelor

ABC

Peter Weber and Madison Prewett, The Bachelor Season 24

Length of Relationship: Two days after the After the Final Rose special.

He Said: Just after going against his disapproving mother Barb’s wishes on live TV to pursue a relationship with his initial runner-up, the pilot took to Instagram to reveal he and Madi had “mutually decided to not pursue our relationship any further. Believe me this was not easy for either of us to be ok with.”

She Said: At the same time, Madison, who had previously left the show ahead of the final rose ceremony, posted her own Instagram statement, writing, “I am confident that we will both move in the direction of our purpose and never forget that God has a plan in all things.”

The Bachelor, Season Finale, Peter Weber, Hannah Ann

ABC

Peter Weber and Hannah Ann Sluss, The Bachelor Season 24

Length of Relationship: Two months

He Said: Similar to Arie Luyendyk Jr., Peter proposed to Hannah Ann during his finale after Madison eliminated herself, only to find himself thinking of his runner-up. So he also broke it off with Hannah Ann during a “Happy Couples” visit, telling the model, “I want so badly to be able to give you everything, give you my entire heart.”(During his proposal, he told her she had “100 percent” of his heart.)

She Said: When Peter tried to apologize, Hannah Ann responded, “[Sorry] for not being man enough to follow through with your words? To not be true to who…not being true to your words? Not being true to your feelings? Is that what you’re sorry for?” Even Peter’s mom was clapping for Hannah Ann, who proved to be the MVP of the night when she told “torn and conflicted” Peter, “You’ve done enough damage. Leave. Leave, bye.”

Joe Amabile, Kendall Long

Instagram

Joe “Grocery Store Joe” Amabile and Kendall Long, Bachelor in Paradise

Length of Relationship: 18 months

He and She Said: After becoming one of Bachelor in Paradise‘s most beloved couples in season five, the couple, who had moved in together and had talked about getting engaged, announced their surprising split with a joint statement.

“We have decided mutually to go our separate ways,” the pair wrote told BachelorNation.com. “Joe has made the decision to move back to Chicago while Kendall will be remaining in her hometown of Los Angeles.”

Later, Kendall admitted she “did not see” the break-up coming, explaining, “Ultimately what happened was that Joe felt like he would have a better [life] in Chicago.” She went on to say she wasn’t “upset” with him.

Chris Bukowski, Katie Morton

Rich Fury/Getty Images for New York Magazine

Chris Bukowski and Katie Morton, Bachelor in Paradise

Length of Relationship: Four months

He and She Said: Following their rollercoaster romance (with sources telling us the pair constantly argued) and an intense showing at the After Paradise special, where she initially took the stage without wearing her engagement ring, Chris and Katie announced their split in December 2019 with a joint statement.

“We’ve reached a point in our story where we agree it’s best to go our separate ways,” the former couple said. “We have chosen to love and respect each other as friends because that’s the base of our relationship, and it’s what is most natural for us. We are incredibly thankful for the support we’ve received from our family, friends and everyone who supported us throughout our journey—from Paradise to this moment. We are grateful for everything that we’ve learned in this chapter, and are hopeful for what is to come in life and in love for both of us.”

Demi Burnett, Kristian Haggerty, Instagram

Instagram/Demi Burnett

Demi Burnett and Kristian Haggerty, Bachelor in Paradise

Length of Relationship: Two months

She Said and She Said: After becoming the franchise’s first same-sex couple and getting engaged at the end of Bachelor in Paradise season six, fan-favorite Demi and Kristian, who had not previously appeared on any of the franchise’s shows, announced their split in October 2019.

“With a heavy heart full of love for one another we have decided it is best for us to take a step back from our relationship,” the couple said in a joint statement on Instagram. “We ultimately want what is best for us in the long run and for us right now, that means being apart and growing individually.”

Tayshia Adams, John Paul Jones

Instagram

John Paul Jones and Tayshia Adams, Bachelor in Paradise

Length of Relationship: Two months

He and She Said: The unusual pair attempted to make their romance work IRL once leaving the beach in season six, but Tayshia announced their mutual decision to call it off, writing on Instagram, “the reality was, we were living on opposite coasts, and working insane schedules that made it impossible to see each other and build a life with each other.”

She added, “We are the best of friends and will continue to remain in each other’s life because regardless of the situation, we make each other happy.”

JPJ commented on the post with the heart and praise hand emojis. 

Hannah Brown, Jed Wyatt

ABC/John Fleenor

Hannah Brown and Jed Wyatt, The Bachelorette Season 15

Length of Relationship: One month…ish?

She Said: Oof. Shortly after getting engaged to Jed during her finale, choosing him over fan-favorite Tyler Cameron, Hannah was shocked when she learned her fiance came on the show with a girlfriend, planning to use the experience as a platform to jumpstart his music career. After confronting him during a scheduled visit, Hannah dumped Jed.

“That’s not what I said yes to,” she later said. “When I said those things, the things I said on my engagement day I thought that was my day. I feel like that was taken from me.”

He Said: Jed continued to downplay his previous romance, claiming they were never officially together and later stressing he wasn’t “a cheater.” But he apologized to Hannah, saying, “I was acting out of of fear instead of love and respect for you. I wasn’t sure how any of it would be taken….I held out because I was scared to lose you.”

Arie Luyendyk Jr., Becca Kufrin

ABC

Arie Luyendyk Jr. and Becca Kufrin, The Bachelor Season 22

Length of Relationship: Less than two months

He Said: Oops, I pulled a Mesnick? After proposing to Becca at the end of his season, Arie realized by January that he still was in love with runner-up Lauren Burnham and wanted to pursue a relationship with her. So he decided to blindside Becca and break-up with her during a scheduled “Happy Couple Weekend,” and ABC later deciding to air it in all its uncomfortable split-screen glory. 

She Said: “Are you f–king kidding me?” It was what we were all thinking anyway! But Becca managed to move on just fine, becoming the next Bachelorette and she’s still with her final pick, Garrett Yrigoyen

Bachelor in Paradise, Taylor Nolan, Derek Peth, Kissing

Paul Hebert/ABC

Derek Peth and Taylor Nolan, Bachelor in Paradise

Length of Relationship: One year

He and She Said: After getting engaged during the season four reunion special, the long distance couple announced their split with a joint statement to E! News.

“It is with much sadness that we have decided to end our engagement. We put everything we could into our relationship and are heartbroken to go forward separately, but we know this is the best decision for the both of us,” the statement read. “We will still be present in each other’s lives with support, admiration and respect for each other.”

While Derek would return to BIP for another shot at love, Taylor opened up to E! News about eventually being open to talking to her ex, whom she hadn’t spoken to in over a year.

“All I was saying is that I wouldn’t rule it out down the line if we actually talked and had some closure,” she said.

Kaitlyn Bristowe, Shawn Booth, The Bachelorette

ABC/Rick Rowell

Shawn Booth and Kaitlyn Bristowe, The Bachelorette Season 11

Length of Relationship: Three years

He Said and She Said: Fans were devastated when the beloved couple announced their split, though rumors about their relationship being on the rocks had been swirling for months.

“This difficult decision comes after thoughtful, respectful consideration,” Shawn and Kaitlyn said in statement. “We have both evolved as people, which is taking us in different directions, but with the hope that we will continue to support each other in new ways.”

She Said: Following the split and entering  a new romance with The Bachelorette‘s Jason Tartick, Kaitlyn has opened up about the issues in her relationship with Shawn, admitting she knew for the last year of their time together that “he couldn’t give me the kind of love that I needed.” She later hinted she had “bitter feelings” towards her ex.

LESLEY MURPHY, DEAN UNGLERT

ABC/Paul Hebert

Dean Unglert and Lesley Murphy, The Bachelor Winter Games

Length of Relationship: Four months

He Said: While he didn’t directly address the break-up, Dean took to Instagram following the split. “Love takes work. Love is compromise. Love is earned. I still have a lot of work to do on myself, a lot to prove to myself, before I’m ready for something like that,” the 26-year-old wrote.

She Said: In a length Instagram post, Lesley said she was looking for an equal in a relationship. “All we need is that same energy reciprocated, and despite how open and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves,” the travel blogger wrote. “Don’t be afraid to be the one that loved the most and give everything you had, because you’ve got to find people who love like you do and who are ready.” She added: “Out with the old, in with the TRUE.”

Bachelor Winter Games, Clare Crawley, Benoit Beausejour-Savard

Paul Hebert/ABC

Clare Crawley and Benoit Beausejour-Savard, The Bachelor Winter Games

Length of Relationship: Less than two months

He Said and She Said: The former couple announced the end of their romance in a joint Instagram post following their surprise engagement at the World Tells All special. “We do understand however, having a public engagement on TV kind of changes that. It’s with a heavy heart that we have mutually decided to end our relationship,” they wrote. “We think the world of each other, and we were both hoping we could make this work. I’m sorry that this may not be what you want to hear, but it’s our truth.”

Ashley Iaconetti, Kevin Wendt, The Bachelor Winter Games

Lorenzo Bevilaqua/ABC

Ashley Iaconetti and Kevin Wendt, The Bachelor Winter Games

Length of Relationship: Less than a month

He Said and She Said: The winning couple of the spinoff sounded off on their split on her Almost  Famous podcast, both saying their relationship was short on “spark.”

Ashley explained, “It sounds a little harsh but it’s just that lack of magic. We get along very well, but there’s just a little something missing.” Kevin added that a long-distance relationship was an  “uphill battle,” saying, “We could have done two or three more trips and then it just would have kind of dragged it out so it’s all good. It makes sense.”

Nick Viall, Vanessa Grimaldi

Leon Bennett/Getty Images for Kershaw’s Challenge

Nick Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi, The Bachelor Season 21

Length of Relationship: Six months
He Said: After calling off their engagement, Nick told Us Weekly, “‘I still love her very much. I’m not afraid to say that.” 
She Said: In an emotional Instagram post, Vanessa wrote, “It’s okay to feel broken. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to lean on a friend. In the end, it will always be okay.” She later opened up to People, saying, “as much as we loved each other and tried to make it work, we just realized we were different people fighting to keep a relationship when ultimately we just weren’t the best fit for each other.”

Ben Higgins, Lauren Bushnell

FabFitFun

Ben Higgins and Lauren, The Bachelor Season 20

Length of Relationship: Less than two years

He Said: “I think mutually Lauren and I saw that life was getting more difficult,” Ben said on his Almost Famous podcast, with a source telling us Lauren’s desire to move back to LA and Ben wanting to stay in Denver was a huge factor.

She Said: Ben telling runner-up JoJo Fletcher he loved her during the show was a huge hurdle from the get-go for Lauren. “I always try to be really strong because I wanted to move forward from it,” she told People. “But because I wanted to move forward from it, I don’t think I ever really opened up about how hard that was.”

Chris Soules, Whitney Bischoff, Bachelor

ABC/Nicole Kohl

Chris Soules and Whitney Bischoff, The Bachelor Season 19

Length of Relationship: Six months
He Said: “When I [got down] on one knee, I thought that was it,” Chris told Entertainment Tonight after the split. “[But] once it’s all said and done, you do get to a new reality after the show’s over. Then you start to learn and figure out if the relationship’s actually going to work.”
She Said: After their split, the nurse, who is now married, told Us Weekly, “I think that it’s important that we maintain our friendship, and I love that we were able to end things cordially. We went through something very unique, and I think that we’ll have a friendship for the rest of our lives.”

Juan Pablo Galavis, Nikki Ferrell

NP Photos

Juan Pablo Galavis and Nikki Ferrell, The Bachelor Season 18

Length of Relationship: Less than a year
He Said: The polarizing Bachelor has stayed mostly mum about the split, with the Venezuelan former soccer player receiving major flack from fans (and Chris Harrison) for not getting down on one knee or telling Nikki he loved her in the finale.
She Said: “It’s just a difference of lifestyles,” the now-married Nikki said. “At the end of the day, we gave it a go, but we’re two different people.” The distance was also a factor, according to Nikki.

Jake Pavelka, Vienna Girardi, The Bachelor

ABC/MATT KLITSCHER

Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi, The Bachelor 17

Length of Relationship: Seven months

He Said: Remember that iconic trainwreck of a sitdown interview they gave after their split? Jake accused Vienna of undermining him and selling stories to tabloids, and yelled at her for interrupting him. “What guy in America would ever want to be intimate with someone who undermines him, emasculates and doesn’t respect him?” he said.

She Said: “You are a fame whore is what you are,” Vienna said, adding that Jake ignored her throughout their relationship and only caring about being on TV. “When we were at home [it was] lonely,” she said. “I just wanted him to be around me and talk to me and kiss me like a normal relationship.” Then, she and boyfriend Kasey Kahl made it their mission to get Jake out of the Bachelor Pad 2, turning themselves into the villains and making Jake, who claimed he only did the show to apologize to Vienna, more sympathetic to viewers.

THE BACHELOR, BEN FLAJNIK, COURTNEY ROBERTSON

ABC/NICK RAY

Ben Fjajnik and Courtney Robertson, The Bachelor Season 16

Length of Relationship: Nine months
He Said: Throughout their on and off again romance, Ben  had questioned  Courtney’s behavior on the show, saying she had him “fooled.”
She Said: Courtney wrote a tell-all, I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends, which Ben was reportedly not too happy about. In it, she claimed Ben refused to let her do Dancing With the Stars and detailed some of their sexual encounters on the show.

Brad Womack, Emily Maynard, The Bachelor

ABC/MARK WESSELS

Brad Womack and Emily Maynard, The Bachelor Season 15

Length of Relationship: Six months
He Said: In a statement to People, the two-time Bachelor said that “the demise of our relationship was completely my fault.” But he later changed his tune, saying, “I think I dodged a bullet with that relationship.” Ouch!
She Said: In her book, I Said Yes: My Story of Heartbreak, Redemption, and True Love, Emily revealed Brad once broke up with her by CCing her on an e-mail to producers. Harsh!

Jason Mesnick, Melissa Rycroft, The Bachelor

ABC/MATT KLITSCHER

Jason Mesnick and Melissa Rycroft, The Bachelor Season 13

Length of Relationship: Halfway through the After the Final Rose special
He Said: Um, I made a mistake. During ATFR, Jason admitted he had made the wrong choice in the finale, and was in love with runner-up, Molli. (They’re now happily married with two kids.)
She Said: Yeah, you could say Melissa was pissed. “You’re such a bastard,” she said. “I wish more than anything that last day you would’ve just let me go instead of doing this to me. I’m so mad at you.” 

Shayne Lamas, Matt Grant,The Bachelor

ABC/ADAM LARKEY

Shayne Lamas & Matt Grant, The Bachelor Season 12

Length of Relationship: Two months
He Said: “Did I find true love on the show? Um, no. Not one little bit,” the Bachelor said after the pair called it quits. “I proposed to a woman who was about a foot and a half shorter than me, who had nothing in common with me, and thought there were palm trees in London. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Did I look like an idiot? Yes. Do I regret it? A little bit.”
She Said: In an alleged blog post Shayne asked rhetorically, “What I don’t understand is why Matt hasn’t finally confessed that he is gay and the very first gay Bachelor.”

Andy Baldwin, Tessa Horst

ABC

Andy Baldwin and Tessa Horst, The Bachelor Season 10

Length of Relationship: A few months (if that)
He Said: “When the fantasy wore off and the reality set in, we both realized we weren’t ready to be engaged,” the Naval officer said of their broken engagement. 
She Said: Before officially pulling the plug on their relationship altogether, it not being “The ideal time for Tessa to uproot herself and move out [to Hawaii] right now” was cited as reason for their engagement to be called off. 

Lorenzo Borghese, Jennifer, The Bachelor

ABC

Lorenzo Borghese and Jennifer Wilson, The Bachelor Season 9

Length of Relationship: One month
They Said: Nothing really, with just a show publicist confirming their split shortly after their finale aired, and Lorenzo went on to briefly date his runner-up. 

Travis Stork, Sarah Stone, Bachelor

ABC

Travis Stork and Sarah Stone, The Bachelor Season 8

Length of Relationship: Three months
He Said: With their season set in Paris, Travis admitted returning to their real lives in Nashville (and being forced not to see each other by producers while the show was airing) put a huge strain on their romance. “You’re forced to pretend you don’t know someone, for four months, “he said.
She Said: Sarah believed the couple would’ve worked out if they had met under different circumstances. “I definitely think it would’ve worked out differently,” she told The Tennessean. “We wouldn’t have had all the baggage that comes from being on this show. It would just be the two of us being able to hang out and get to know each other in a normal situation.” 

Charlie O'Connell, Sarah Brice, The Bachelor

Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic

Charlie O’Connell and Sarah Brice, The Bachelor Season 7

Length of Relationship: Five years
He Said: After their on and off again romance officially came to an end in 2010, the actor said, “I think it was a mutual break-up. The thing is that we dated for five years…and were just arguing over the same things and stuff like that. And then eventually you’ve got to go your separate ways.”
She Said: Sarah had attributed most of their previous break-ups to Charlie’s drinking. “A lot of it had to do with a little bit of the drinking that he was doing and I kind of didn’t really appreciate it and respond well to it,” she said.

Byron Velvick, Mary Delgado, Bachelor

ABC

Byron Velvick and Mary Delgado, The Bachelor Season 6

Length of Relationship: Five years

He Said: After their assault incident in 2007, the Bachelor admitted, “Just because you met on a reality show, got engaged on this beautiful incredible setting doesn’t mean that we’re Prince Charming or Beautiful Princess. It’s nothing like that. It’s just a real couple going through real things.”

She Said: After being arrested three times since her season aired in 2004, including once for allegedly assaulting Byron, the former NFL cheerleader gave an interview in 2016 revealing her struggle with depression. “There was a big pressure also to have a successful relationship for TV and the show.” She hinted that there were trust issues in the relationship. 

Jesse Palmer, Jessica Bowlin, Bachelor

ABC

Jesse Palmer and Jessica Bowlin, The Bachelor Season 5

Length of Relationship: One month
He Said: “Jessica and I shared an incredible romantic journey on the show that began with a friendship that remains strong today. We simply realized that, individually, our next steps take us in different directions,” the former NFL player-turned- Good Morning America host said in a statement after their short-lived relationship. 
She Said: Jessica continued in the statement, saying, “With too much distance and too little time these were not ideal circumstances in which to start a relationship. Jesse is a great guy and has a wonderful family. Who knows what the future holds?” Spoiler alert: it held nothing!

Bob Guiney, Estella Gardinier, Bachelor

ABC

Bob Guiney and Estella Gardinier, The Bachelor Season 4

Length of Relationship: Three months

He Said: The Bachelor took the blame for their split, telling People mag, “It was largely my fault. I’ve been pulled in so many directions, and the one that I don’t think got enough of my time was our relationship.” He cited his promotional tour for his book and his music career as reasons.

She Said: In an interview post-split, Estella told People she blamed Bob’s hunger for the spotlight as a reason for their demise. “He’s not the person I thought he was,” she said. “I don’t see any reason to ever have a conversation with him.”

Andrew Firestone, Jen Scheff, Bachelor

ABC

Andrew Firestone and Jen Scheftt, The Bachelor Season 3

Length of Relationship: 10 months

He Said: “I was probably a little too young,” Andrew told Us Weekly in 2008. “The relationship felt right at the time.”

She Said: Of their split, Jen told Us Weekly, “I was naive in thinking [the relationship with Firestone] was going to be great in the real world, since we got along so great [during taping].” She would go on to be the Bachelorette, but rejected both of her final suitors. Tell ’em boys bye!

Aaron Buerge, The Bachelor

ABC

Aaron Buerge and Helene Eksterowicz, The Bachelor Season 2

Length of Relationship: One month

He Said: The Bachelor agreed to do a televised interview about the split after his former GF went on the record with a tabloid. “I have nothing bad to say about her and I don’t want different accounts of my story turning into rumors,” he said.

She Said: Helene said she was shocked when Aaron told her he was no longer invested in their relationship.  “It felt like a bomb dropped,” she said to People. “I said, ‘I feel very deceived by you. You’ve told me every single day that you love me, and now this is it?'”

Alex Michel, Amanda Marsh, The Bachelor

ABC

Alex Michael and Amanda Marsh, The Bachelor Season 1

Length of Relationship: Several months

He Said: Trista Sutter, Alex’s runner-up and eventual Bachelorette, revealed he had told her he’d made a mistake choosing Amanda. “Basically he told me that he thought he had made a mistake,”she spilled to TV Guide in 2003. “He’ll probably deny that he said [that he’d made a mistake].”

She Said: While their romance didn’t last, Alex and Amanda’s friendship did, with Amanda revealing they occasionally e-mail. 

Josh Murray, Andi Dorfman

Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic

Andi Dorfman and Josh Murray, The Bachelorette Season 10

Length of Relationship: Seven months
She Said: More like that she wrote, as Andi detailed her nasty split in her book, It’s Not Okay, accusing Josh of being verbally and emotionally abusive. She also wrote he prohibited her from taking photos with other men and called her a “whore” for sleeping with Nick Viall in the fantasy suite.
He Said: Josh denied everything in Andi’s book while on Bachelor in Paradise. “I can’t comment on specific things in any kind of book that my ex has written, because it’s a fictional story,” he said. “There’s stuff that’s so ludicrous; how do you comment on stuff like that?”

The Bachelorette, EMILY MAYNARD, JEF HOLM

ABC

Emily Maynard and Jef Holm, The Bachelorette Season 8

Length of Relationship: Six months
She Said: “I am sorry to tell you that Jef and I have, indeed, parted ways,” the Bachelorette said in a statement at the time. “It was a very difficult and heartbreaking decision.” A few years later, she would write in her book that she immediately knew accepting Jef’s proposal was a mistake when her daughter Ricki joined them, and she wondered if he was ready to be a “stepparent.” 
He Said: He said a lot without words just before the couple announced their official split, by changing his relationship status on Facebook and removing Emily from his Twitter bio pic ahead of the official confirmation that they were dunzo. He later said they wanted “different things.” 

 Ali Fedotowsky, Roberto Martinez

ABC/MATT KLITSCHER

Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez, The Bachelorette Season 6

Length of Relationship: One and a half years
She Said: “We were really trying to make it work, and realizing it wasn’t getting better,” the Bachelorette said after the couple’s split. “We were unhappy more than we were happy, and something needed to change…I didn’t want to let people down. I felt anger from my followers, fans…The pressure was to make sure we did what would make both of us happy.”
He Said: The insurance agent has never spoken out publicly about the end of their engagement. 

The Bachlorette, Ed Swiderski, Jillian Harris

ABC/MARIO PEREZ

Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski, The Bachelorette Season 5

Length of Relationship: One year
She Said: After cheating allegations surfaced, which Jillian defended Ed from before the split, the Bachelorette has since admitted, “I was so devastated.” And in another interview, she said, “Looking back, [Ed] just did what he wanted to do.”
He Said: During his stint on Bachelor Pad 3, Ed basically confirmed the reports of him cheating on Jillian, saying, “I’m not an angel. There was certainly some truth to what was in the tabloids.”

DeAnna Pappas, Jesse Csincsak

David Livingston/Getty Images

DeAnna Pappas and Jesse Csincsak, The Bachelorette Season 4

Length of Relationship: Less than a year
She Said: Admitting she liked Jesse because he was a bit of a “wild card,” DeAnna admitted, “Eventually it wasn’t what I was attracted to anymore.”
He Said: Jesse decided to post a YouTube video (?!) detailing their split, saying the Bachelorette broke it off with him by saying, “‘I love you, but I’m not in love with you. She’s a great person but she wasn’t willing to try anymore…that’s a lot to swallow no matter who you are when you’re in love and you put yourself out there.”

Bachelorette,  Meredith Phillips, Ian McKee

ABC

Meredith Phillips and Ian McKee, The Bachelorette Season 2

Length of Relationship: One year
She Said: “Our relationship began with great expectations for a happy ending, but unfortunately things didn’t work out as we had hoped,” the couple said in a statement at the time. “What we experienced together was incredible and we are both sad to see it end. We thank you for your support.” Years later, Meredith revealed her battle with alcoholism, saying she was “drunk every night” during filming.
He Said: According to the show’s co-executive producer Lisa Levenson, Ian was skeptical about reality TV romances, saying, “From day one, he said he could never see himself proposing to a woman on national television or saying the words ‘I love you.'”

 

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